Azalea

Passion

Kategori: Allmänt

Ahhhhh writing time.... sweet moments... sometimes just writing down something makes me feel like i am letting off steam even if i dont write sboyt what im thinking about necessarily or going somewhere with a bottom line.. it still does skmething to me in a good way and i feel happy writing into space just like that.. anyway i wanted to write about emotions and how they can have a will of their own are they just an expression of whatever we are msde up of or can we really steer them with logic and willpower? Like love for example they say you cannot force love but some elder generations will say love grows and the sweetest romantic couples are usually the elderly dying generation.. so can you choose a mate based on profile and then grow in love or are you better off following your heart to that compete jerk that dont really love you the same or do you wait for that cliche soulmate thing so many people will have different answers i mean thats just an obvious example but even in other thjngs like some people just live by emotions while others plan and calculate their life differently.. i just find it fascinating how emotions dont always comply to our logic and i am so curious as to how we are suppose to manage that mlrally, ethically etc. i could feel like robbing the whole of a Gucci shop and just bathe in all them handbags but logic will tell me the only place ill end up bathing is in prison so my moral compass will navigate me or also some dumb colleague at work that i just feel like punching gets off with a polite smile while im looking at how many days until payday.. so dear emotions what are you really? Like unconditional love it is the most wonderful thing ever like when you fall in love with your newborn baby and just know that this love is eternal unquestionably unending and limitless yet some sadly suffer loss and that emotion then comes under attack and other emotions eat up that pure light innocent love and gets transformed into loss emptiness like a vacuum of missing the person every second.. Some people as well are extreme where their emotions transform them into monsters emotionless monsters without mercy compassion or empathy.. as for me I am trying to understand this as I am in a phase where I want to forgive and love someone that my emotions do not want to forgive someone that has hurt me and made me angry to the point where this emotion called hate wants to grow and corrupt my heart but I am trying my best to figure out true forgiveness to someone that is not sorry just for my own peace of mind.. and no its not my man lol however it is someone significant to me and of course I could live and die and never see the person again but within me I reaqlly want to gwt to a point where I understand and acknowledge my emotions but I still find a way to channel them for good. I will continue on my quest........

Motivation

Kategori: Allmänt

Heloo i read a couple really nice blogs today was so intrigued. I always get the feeling that we should be doing more for people in the third world because although we feel like we are doing charity we are the reason they need charity.. Nestle makes most from selling water and they buy up scarce water sources in poor countries then sell the water back to these of poorest people in the world really? We use up natural resources at an alarming rate and pay those people next to nothing, we damage the environment because we are not the ones to feel the consequences first hand.. we live in a culture of extreme wastage where we throw so much away at the expense or others resources.. I always wonder what can I do I am just one person.. Like when I see documentaries on animal cruelty yet refuse to go vegan because its hard.. at some point I.have to deny obvious facts to feel better.. truth is I know that the industrial back streets are dirty very very dirty.. big companies lie and play on our concious and because we want to please our concious we pretend to believe their lies so that we can carry on and function in day to day habits.. I want to break free but then I think.what the heck I cant live under a stone and become a farmer! Or can I haha no not for day.. I complain because I buy organic and its bloody expensive and I complain because of this and that truth is im spoiled and its next to impossible for my compassion alone to move me to give up all my daily luxuries so that someone else can have the basics after all out of.sight out of mind but its horrible to acknowledge.. I feel that its my right after all I worked for it but the truth is someone else slaved for it yes if I knew how many of my clothes was manufactured fairly Id be happy but the truth is I dont want to know and that sucks and its because I feel helpless.. But am I? Could i make a difference? Buying ethical and organic is a trend yes and lets celebrate that not stigmatise it but how do we kickstart a revolution everybody knows that big corporations did not get big by being nice guys or playing fair they got big because they are ruthless merciless monsters of course not all but the ones that have climbed on blood on their way to the top to a point of almoat monopoly. I will try day by day but people need to understand the power in boycott and sharing this importance for now love and light 😘

Change

Kategori: Allmänt

Is it normal to want to constantly change oneself? To always want to improve transform and just be a completely different version of yourself? Sometimes I feel trapped in my ways and although I get so much praise from people around me I am.not happy with who and what I am I feel like I know I could do better I know my potential I see how far off my potential I am yet I feel chained to the things jeeping me from.reaching that potential... It feels like I am always underperforming as soon as the score is not 100 out of 100 and the closer to 100.I would get the more.frustrated I would be to know how close I was and I will keep juggling how I knew I should have gone left or right and didnt and thats what knocked me down. I am an all.or nothing.perfectionist if its not perfect my engagement completely dissolves and the task gets fully neglected. It is frustrating.. I am not.miserable because I have a lot.of.gratitude which counteracts a lot.of negative thoughts and I am happy for achievements and rewards through gratitude I also lean on hope an emotion that allows me go still.work.towards one day being at a perfect state whether perfect or not just perfect to me. Can anyone relate? I feel like I need to reinvent myself but I never do.. my downfalls are inconsistency doing too much jack.of all trades master of none and laziness and indifference. I am preparing for a new year and need to clear out all the cobweb and writing is mt remedy my only therapy and guess what I am writing with spelling mistakes to avoid removing everything because its not just right. But its alright 😘😘😘